


Batman and Robin Take on the Real World

by LessonsFromMoths



Series: Sterek All The Time (lots of one shots) [15]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alive Laura Hale, Alive Talia Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Batman - Freeform, Batman And Robin - Freeform, Costumes, Halloween, M/M, One Shot, Robin - Freeform, Self indulgence, Tumblr Prompt, accidental matching, best party ever, first meet cute, i blame tumblr for all of my problems, introductions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 05:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12292113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessonsFromMoths/pseuds/LessonsFromMoths
Summary: Derek really doesn’t want to go to this dumb Halloween party. It’s his first weekend back home from his freshman year at college, and he just wants to catch up with friends and go to actual Halloween parties, not ones hosted by his parent’s friends. It’s just so lame and there’s barely anyone his age here and the only other person he recognizes is this really loud and annoying and attractive kid from his 8am soc class. Well damn.





	Batman and Robin Take on the Real World

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the following prompts:  
> (http://onetruepairingideas.tumblr.com/post/135882810519/spoopy-halloween-aus-for-ur-otp)  
> -we both got dragged to this stuffy Halloween party by our parents wanna kiss in the corner? 
> 
> (http://alloftheprompts.tumblr.com/post/131014595102/some-spooky-scary-halloween-prompts-for-otps-or)  
> -we don’t know each other but i came as (character A) and you came as (character B) and well, look at that, (character A/character B) is both of our otps…strange…we should do something about that….like make out
> 
>  
> 
> *This is un-beta'd! Please point out any blinding errors or mistakes!

“Oh honey, you look so adorable!” 

Derek glared at his mother. “I’m not here to be adorable, Mom.”

His mother, with her dark hair and Wonder Woman headband just laughed and turned away to apply bright red lipstick. “I’m your mother, I’m allowed to think you’re adorable whenever I please.”

Laura took that moment to come thundering down the stairs, dressed in her shortest black dress. She had added a headband with cat ears and traced whiskers and a black upside-down triangle nose onto her face. She looked at Derek and whistled. “Nice costume, baby bro. Never thought I’d see you in spandex.”

Derek growled at her, glaring through his eyebrows. 

“Yes, there’s the Dark Knight I’m used to!! All broody and full of hate.” She swooped off of the last step, kissing him on the cheek. “You guys enjoy yourselves, Alaina’s here to pick me up!” 

“Be safe, honey!” Talia called after her, laughing. 

“Really, Mom? Laura can go to her friend’s Halloween party, but I can’t?” 

His mom sighed patiently. “This is your first time visiting us since starting college! We want to spend time with you! Your friends can wait one more night while you escort us to the Oliver’s Halloween party, hmm?”

It was actually Halloween, October 31st, the best party night of the year, but Derek just rolled his eyes. “Of course, Mom.”

“That’s what I thought! Now go get your father, he’ll need some help with that cowlick and we can’t be _too_ fashionably late. I believe they just call that rude.” Derek left his mom to her own devices, which included packing up all of the pumpkin cookies into ghost-shaped tins. His dad was in the bathroom adjacent to the den, putting his Clark Kent glasses on and off his face over and over. He noticed Derek in the mirror and turned around, troubled.

“Do these glasses look my face look fat?” 

Derek sighed loudly and turned away. “You’re wearing a skin-tight suit under your Clark Kent khakis and button-up, and you’re worried that the _glasses_ are going to make you look fat?” 

“No need to be hurtful,” his dad said, placing the glasses on his face and flipping the bathroom light off. 

“Come on, Mom wants us to be ready. She’s going to fix your cowlick and then we’re gonna go.”

“My cowlick?” His dad’s hands touched his hair. “What’s wrong with my cowlick?” 

His mom made a cooing noise. “Oh nothing honey, but…” She approached her husband, producing a bottle of hair gel seemingly from nowhere. “Now just hold still for a moment.” Derek gathered the cookie tins while his parents argued about hair, sighing.

“What time did it start again?”

“Oh shit!” Talia glanced at the clock. “It started thirty minutes ago, we need to get going.” She grabbed the keys and looked at the two men pointedly. “Get in the car, boys.” They obeyed.

 

 

When they got to the party they were immediately welcomed by a woman in her mid-sixties, dressed like the cartoon character Olive Oyl. Behind her, a man dressed as Popeye greeted them. “Well don’t you all look spick and span! Just perfect, members of the Justice League!” 

Talia smiled warmly. “Thank you, Mr. Oliver...or should I say, Popeye? Your costumes are precious!”

Mrs. Oliver blushed and ushered them inside hurriedly. The entire house had been decorated to fit the Halloween theme: most of the furniture had been arranged so that fake cobwebs could be spread all over it, rubber and plastic spiders had been hung all over the walls and ceilings, there were tiny bat and ghost lights lining the walls to create a darker ambiance. There were many party games, such as bobbing for apples and carving pumpkins and pinning the fangs on the dracula. There was a mummy wrapping station with lots of toilet paper, plastic eyeballs bobbing in the green sherbert drink bowl, and skeleton hands invading the chip bowls. 

It was a halloween party if Derek had ever been to one, except for the fact that there was no one in attendance under the age of forty. Derek was the only college-aged kid there, and he turned to his mother, who had obviously realized the same thing and was smiling sheepishly at him. “Really, Mom? Thanks for this.”’ 

She rolled her eyes, smile melting away. “Relax, honey. You’ll find a way to have fun.”

Derek smiled wryly, no humor in his eyes. “Yup. I’m gonna go have some of that sherbert now.” He abruptly walked towards the food table, piling himself some sweets while he was there, then retreating to a corner to eat it all. ‘The Monster Mash’ came on and got a bunch of the adults rowdy. Derek figured a lot of them had pregamed and shown up halfway drunk, and the spiked cider wasn’t helping much on that front. 

Derek scanned the dimly-lit room. He could see his parents sharing shots with a lot of the louder party guests, his dad’s hair already hopelessly mussed up and his mother’s Lasso of Truth trailing behind her on the floor. A few tables away some people were trying their hand at “Pin the Fangs,” most of them too far gone to realize that they were trying to pin _actual_ plastic dracula teeth onto the wall instead of the paper ones with tape on the back that were provided. However, not everyone was hammered. A lot of people were good-naturedly talking, laughing, and just having a nice time. Derek’s eyes widened when he saw someone who looked younger, maybe about his age, and he actually gasped when the person turned around, because he knew them. It was the annoying kid from his 8am soc class. 

Going to UCLA kept Derek in California (gotta get that in-state tuition) but also got him far enough away from his family, which he liked. However, freshman almost always got stuck with 8am classes because that’s when most gen-eds were offered. Usually Derek wouldn’t mind that, but in his 8am sociology, which he had three days a week with 100 other students, there was one guy who was always loud, argument-prone, and extremely opinionated. And that guy was standing just across the room. Hell, Derek could hear his freaking voice across the room, it was that recognizable.

The dude was always getting on Derek’s nerves. He was way too peppy for an 8am class, always had way too many opinions, talked fast enough that he was probably intaking too much caffeine, and just all-in-all annoyed the shit out of someone who hated waking up. He was kind of awful. But watching him interact with a guy who looked like he might be his father made Derek see him as a person. Okay, maybe the guy had a few merits. Derek could admit that the dude was kinda cute. He was slender, had nice eyes and lips, and his hair had that artful look about it that Derek always had trouble achieving. Plus, he was currently dressed in a Robin costume. A _Robin_ costume. Derek did not fail to see the connection between the two of them: The Dynamic Duo was his favorite growing up, he had a shitload of Batman and Robin comics.

The boy’s father patted his shoulder and then abandoned him, and like Derek he was alone. Derek was just beginning to debate the pros and cons of escaping out of an upstairs window when the boy spotted him, did a very visible double take, then smiled widely and hurried over. “Oh man, thank god there’s someone else here under the age of fifty! And man, you’re from UCLA, right? I think we have soc together, 8am, Rhineman?”

Derek stared at him and nodded.

“Duuude, you’re so cool in that class! Whenever the Rhine-man makes you go up to the board and draw human diagrams, you always rock at it. Like the way you explain it is so clear, much more clear than our professor, you know? I know that my friend Erica wouldn’t be passing the class if you weren't in her discussion group. At least, that’s what she says, but I believe her.” He seemed to have to force himself to stop talking, and he managed to stick his hand out to Derek. “I’m Stiles, what’s your name?” 

He took the proffered hand. “Derek.” 

“Nice to officially meet you, Derek! Love your costume, by the way. Are your parents Superman and Wonder Woman over there?” Stiles pointed the exact opposite way of the corner they were standing in. 

“That obvious, huh?” Derek asked, cringing as his mother jumped onto a table. 

“Not really, but I never knew that you were a closet nerd, and i figured that if you were, your family was probably full of nerds too. Nothing beats being able to go as the main members of the Justice League as an entire family. I wish my dad would do cool costume things with me, but he’s never into it. He just doesn’t like the holiday as much as I do. Not that he doesn’t like Halloween, but I mean I _love_ Halloween, even more than Christmas and my birthday and Thanksgiving and shit. There’s just nothing that beats an entire holiday devoted to scaring people, dressing up as your favorite character, and reenacting your favorite horror movie scenes in hopes that the neighbors call the cops.” His eyes were shining, but Derek was still trying to catch up with the guy’s--Stiles--train of thought. 

“Why Robin?” He blurted, trying to get a word in before Stiles kept talking.

“I can’t believe you just asked me that. Robin is, like, the best! Plus I found all of these great pieces, there was no way I wasn’t going to use all of them.” He modeled his costume, spinning around and sticking his ass out. Derek had to admit it did look pretty awesome. He had on green tights, which showed off pretty impressive leg muscles; a shiny-looking material for the red top part of the costume; a Robin crest that resembled the one Dick Grayson used to have;  a shiny yellow cape that trailed halfway down his back; green gloves that stretched to his elbows; and pointed green shoes. He even had a yellow utility belt to match. Of course, so did Derek.

Derek didn’t skimp out on his costume at all, because if you’re going to be Batman, you go full-out Dark Knight. He had the cape and the cowl (but the cowl was currently down), the spandex that went all the way down to his black shoes, the utility belt, and a perfectly-drawn bat symbol that stretched across his chest. He was the Dark Knight. And Stiles definitely seemed to notice. “For real, man, that’s a great costume. Your parents did a great job with theirs, too.” He gestured vaguely behind them. Derek didn’t even spare a glance away from Stiles’s caramel eyes. 

“So tell me,” he said, taking a sip of his sherbert, “which Robin are you?” 

Stiles grinned. “I wonder when you’d ask that. I’m not really trying for any one in particular. I like a lot of the Robins, so I guess the Robin I’m going as is myself.” Derek raised his eyebrows. 

Derek regarded him carefully, deciding to test the guy. He was pretty cute, and there was a chance Derek could have some actual fun at this party... _if_ Stiles answered the next question correctly. “Way to skirt around an answer. Okay, tell me this though: if Bruce Wayne died, who would take over the cape and the cowl?” 

Stiles raised a single eyebrow. He didn’t say anything for a while, apparently understanding how delicate of a question it was. “Well, without any thought I would say Dick Grayson. He’s already worn the cape and the cowl, and he was a pretty good Batman. However, he established himself as Nightwing and he does it pretty damn well. Dick doesn’t have the same demeanor as Bruce, he relies more on friends instead of loneliness. He also probably wouldn’t _want_ the role. Which brings me to Jason Todd. I don’t think I really need to make a huge case for why he shouldn’t be the next Batman. He just couldn’t do it, plus he’s got Red Hood. Don’t even get me started on Damien, I don’t think that kid would do well in his dad’s position at all, which means that the best option would be Tim Drake. He has a strong personality, skills that keep Batman on his toes, and a personality that makes him able to dominate and lead. Tim Drake might not want to be Batman, but he definitely is the best choice.”

Stiles beamed hugely. “Did I pass your test, Mr. Wayne?”

Derek just stared, stars in his eyes as he looked at Stiles. “But really, why Robin? Why not Batman himself?”

Stiles shrugged nonchalantly, lips pursing. “Did you know that Batman and Robin are my favorite pairing? Maybe I was just hoping to find a Batman tonight.” He grinned impishly, and Derek grabbed his wrist. 

“Come on,” he said.

“Where are we going?” Stiles asked, a smile in his voice. “We’re already in a corner.” 

Derek stopped and spun around, pinning Stiles against the corner of the two walls. He wasted no time pressing his lips to the boy’s, reveling in the fact that he was silent. Well, except for his moans. 

Stiles opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into Derek’s, tasting sweet candy and lime sherbert. Derek’s hand trailed down and squeezed his ass, and he gasped, breathing into Derek’s mouth. They continued making out, Stiles’s hands--oh god, his hands--finding their way into Derek’s hair, his fingers threading it hard. “Such a....hot Batman...oh my god...look at your pecs...damn...Derek,” Stiles panted between kisses, and Derek kissed him harder and filthier. 

In Stiles’s mind, he was already naming all of their future kids: Richard, Bruce, Grace, and Todd. Derek couldn’t focus past Stiles’s legs wrapping themselves around his torso. 

Their parents watched the two making out from afar. “This was the best idea we’ve ever had, Sheriff,” Talia said as she watched her son defile the Sheriff’s only child. 

“I thought he would never stop talking about the hot, smart guy with the cute butt from 8am soc,” The Sheriff shook his head. “Maybe now he’ll be too preoccupied to call me and moan about how hot your son is. According to him.”

“And I think Laura will appreciate not having to listen to Derek complaining about the boy in his 8am that doesn’t stop talking.”

The parents were all silent for a moment, watching their boys. “Maybe we should..ah, give them some privacy.” Derek’s dad said. “They look like they might need some.” 

“Get a room!” Talia yelled at them from across the party, and the two boys broke apart, blushing hard.

“Mom!” Derek yelled, embarrassed. 

“You heard the woman,” Stiles said. “I know that the park is pretty damn abandoned at this time of night.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Derek nodded. “I’ll lead the way.” 

As they left, his mom smiled knowingly. “Be back by 1am!” But Derek and Stiles were already stealing kisses on their way out. 

Needless to say, November 1st may have been the best day of Derek’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a little love if you enjoyed, if you want to talk Robins, or if you LOVE Halloween too!!


End file.
